Countdown...

So, it's official. Our foster leaves us on Wednesday. It comes with a very heavy heart. We've had good times, we've laughed, cried and everything in between. There is a somber mood in the house, as a good thing comes to an end.

It still angers me that there is seemingly no one with her welfare in mind. In fact, the current guardian is going to court to change guardianship to someone else in the family to send her to Salt Lake City from Southern Utah. They seem hell bent on getting her as far away from her adoptive parents as possible. I would love to know the motivation for such a move, when she is happy here and is doing well in school. I have heard horror stories about the way she acts, but there has never been a hint of that side of her personality show ever here. I've been told by the current guardian that I don't know what she's like, but since I am the stay at home parent, I get so see her most of the time, and she's never reverted to that kind of act ever.

This particular guardian however, from my outsider point of view is a master manipulator. She manipulates her parents (the adopted parents of this foster and paternal great grandparents of the foster) with casual and freighting ease. She had done the same to her brother, but he's has been beaten down by his current wife, so I'll forgive him for that. What this foster needs is an impartial independent child advocate. However, since the guardian currently works for Child Welfare, she already has manipulated this foster to take her in to state foster care.

An interesting side, my wife was told by the guardian and her brother that according to a "very reliable source" that my wife and I were hiring a lawyer to fight for custody of this foster. If I had means, I would talk it over with my wife, or at the least pay for an independent advocate for her. Alas, I have not the means to either, and have not done one thing in a legal scene on the behalf of my family or of the foster.

I don't know what I can do, other than exactly what I am doing, which is watching the events unfold without interference from me or my wife.

The strange part, is Shayna and I knew were called by the Almighty God to provide this service for this lady foster. It's been an experience I think we will all cherish.

Random thoughts

So the day which our Foster is to leave marches towards us, unrelenting and looming like a vulture waiting for a carcass to finally die. That may be a tad over dramatic. Really, we are waiting for the word "go". It will be a sad day in this household.

In other news, this weekend past, everyone has been the recipient of a good cold. The teens are mostly recovered, but I finally have it, and it's nasty. I feel so good, I feel like shopping at a mall in Kenya.

Also, a final thought... I'd rather raise teen boys compared to teen girls.

And Time Marches On.... and on and on and on....

So I have noticed a strange metamorphosis within me. Five years ago, if one were to ask me what my passion is, I would say Architecture. Designing homes and commercial buildings was what I wanted to do. I would get up, go to work early and stay 9-10 hours a day because I loved it. I spent time and effort to become one of the best Architectural Drafters and designers I could be.

Well, since our benevolent elected leaders are soooo good at managing a recession and holding it to be near a depression, my career has stagnated, and my love of my industry diminished... more than I could of ever thought.

So now that I am on the knife's edge of several life changes, I don't know exactly how to feel and act. Normally I'd charge forward with all the grace of a raging bull in a china shop. Now, it seems I am much more reserved. These are somewhat radical changes in myself I have noticed. It's strange. Oh well, time marches on, as do I.

A kick square in the groin...(ooff)

Just as life gets comfortable and one can relax, is would seem that out of no where a good solid quick kick in the groin comes out of no where. Normally a hit in the breadbox will knock the wind out of me. I would catch my breath, stand up and dust myself off and be on my marry way. The kick to the proverbial groin not only knocks the wind out of mean, knocks me to the ground and leave a distinct taste of pennies in my mouth, but also leaves me twitching on the ground in the prenatal position.

To what am I referring? I just got news that our foster is leaving in less than three weeks. I am almost outraged. Currently I feel more anger than anything. (when the self imposed statues of limitations are lifted I will explain all the background and detail on her story) Needless to say, I believe that every consideration has been taken into account, except hers. I truly believe that her psyche, spirit is truly in jeopardy. I that the decision makers in her life are making her disappear out of their lives conveniently, 350 miles away from her home and family. Though all be it they are sending her away to more family, but still away from the people she calls mom and dad.

Even better, is there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, either legally or ethically. I don't know what God has in store for our family. I sense a looming loss... a wound which will not be easily healed. So, as I struggle with myself over this, I can only hope that God will intervene on her behalf, because it seems He is the only one that can... God help me.